And Other Lies I Tell Myself.
Fifth grade was my best year ever. Which is kind of bad when you're 44 years old. That means I had my best year 34 years ago... At least I had one.
I feel the need to share it with you. Because that's what we do. We share. So here goes:
THE TOP TEN BEST THINGS ABOUT MY 5TH GRADE YEAR, AKA LIFE...
- Jaunita...'nuff said.
- Mr. Terbush. He was my teacher and I was madly in love with him. He was handsome and played the guitar and most important I was his favorite student in the whole world....Trust me, I know these things.
- I almost won the "princess" of our class contest. There was a tie between me and Angelina, and I graciously allowed her to have it. I humbly said, 'You darling, you be Princess.' Actually I couldn't face knowing I lost if I would've lost...so now I'll never know, and I'm at peace. It was a good call.
- I received a couple of love poems from Richard, a short round boy who wore glasses. He was very sweet, and I was flattered.
- Tim, the red-head liked me. He was taller, so I liked him back.
- I got to be crossing-guard at recess. A dream come true. It included a bright orange vest, an orange stick, and power. I took it very seriously. I wish I still had the stick.
- Mr. Terbush. I'm sorry, but he deserves to be on here twice. He was after all the first love of my life. I hated the weekends...I LOVE YOU MR. TERBUSH! WILL YOU MARRY ME?
- Bobby, who I played 'foursquare' with everyday. And then I told him I liked him. And he looked horrified and said something like "ew, gross!" Oh, well. Tim the redhead knew a good thing when he saw one.
- I made a conservation poster and won an 'honorable mention' ribbon. I was thrilled. Little did I know I should have polyurethaned it and super-glued it to my body, permanently. This was before I clued in to the fact I wasn't crafty. Or artsy. Or musical.
- I had to get glasses. And I tried my hardest to fail the hearing test, but my hearing proved fine. Bummer! What could possibly be more awesome? Glasses AND a hearing aid...
Yep, Fifth grade. I could still spit water through the gap in my front teeth. I told ya I was a prom queen!
