My Name Is Gump...

I run now. All the time. Against my own will, I put on my tennis shoes and take off like the wind. Okay, not the wind. I take off, like a cheetah. Okay, not a cheetah exactly. A turtle? Yes, A TURTLE. Or maybe a bear. A large lumbering bear, who's emerged from hibernation.

Have you ever noticed how fluffy Bears are?

Run Chubby Run!

I run against the odds. Against the cruel fate of my obese potential. Against my physique which was not made for running. It was made for bearing children. If only I would've realized at the time that was my niche.

And yet I run...

See that guy? That's not me. He looks way too joy-filled.

I, on the other hand, have a look of severe pain while I run. I think it's much more appropriate, plus it garners sympathy from the average passer-by. Just for affect, I may add tears streaming down my face the  next time I run. I'll let you know how that goes.