Are we having fun yet?I thought it would be fun to interview my middle child while she's here living with me. Before she heads back to the cold cruel world that is Lee University.
I drug out the handy karaoke machine and proceeded.
Me: Tapping the microphone...Hello? hello?...
Daughter: Tries to grab microphone out of my hand. Always grabbing for the spotlight, I tell ya...
Question: Why are you here at my house?
Answer: Because England kicked me out. I have nowhere else to go.
Question: How do you feel about that?
Answer: Angry
Question: And Bitter?
Answer: Yes.
Question: Are you always so talkative?
Answer: shrug...
Question: Are you glad I'm your Mother?
Answer: No comment. (Psychotic laughter)
Question: What are you planning on doing this summer?
Answer: Making money and entertaining myself. Wait...that sounds weird.
Question: Are you bored living here with your Mother?
Answer: No comment. (Psychotic laughter...again.)
Question: What do you want to do with your life?
Answer: Be a missionary. (Or stay here and live and clean and cook for my Mother....she's staring off into space now. She seems shut down.)
Question: What's your favorite food?
Answer: Bread.
Question: Do you want to get your picture taken in the little hole under the bridge?
Answer: No. (She means of course I do! That would be hilarious!)
Question: Any other thoughts?
Answer: That only killed 10 minutes. What are we gonna do now?
Question: Do you think you have ADD?
Answer: Me?
Question: Yes, you. (who else am I interviewing? Bright college kid, this one.)
Answer: I don''t. But my mom does.
Question: Who's your mom?
Answer: LisaJohnsOristStephens
Question: How does that make you feel?
Answer: Please, help.
Question: Huh? You wish you had more last names?
Answer: Huh?
The interviewee has left the room...Wow.
I now appreciate what Oprah's had to put up with all these years.
