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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Can you believe I'm NOT a professional photographer? Shocking, I know.

Ask and You Shall Receive...by Email

Email is a Wonderful Thing!

Thigh Acceptance Is A Good Thing

This is a documentary.
I've had many people ask me about the name of this blog. Reasonably Chubby. Why?

I'll tell you why my brothers and sisters. Because I've come into Thigh Acceptance and I hope you will too. Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!

But wait. I think I'll eat the last piece of 'Better Than Sex?' cake before I explain.
10 seconds...20 seconds...30 seconds...later.
Ok, I'm back. And feeling quite delightful.



I am twenty-one years old in this photo. I have black and blonde hair. Who cares what diet I'm on, my thigh problem, or anything else? Girl, go get your hair fixed!

I did want to document what the starvation/diet pill diet was able to accomplish. Fleeting though it was, a beautiful moment was immortalized. In my own mind...


Two short hours after the wedding was over, I was back to normal. I don't have the answer for you. I probably ate a burger and called it a day.



It's a fact. Reasonably Chubby thirty year old women should not wear their hair short and curly.
Unless of course they want to look fifty, then it's ok. Welcome to the Atkins diet.



Oh my. The soup diet years. This was a phase. I helped run a tearoom with my mother and took it a bit too far. I suppose I thought dressing as a Victorian lady might diguise the area of concern, until the gaunt look from slurping broth kicked in. I do look rather proper, don't you agree?



But I didn't stop there. I knew that the genes were against my girls, so I decided to start them young. That way they would be comfortable wearing a corset and wouldn't mind the stares...
My youngest reminds me of Yoda in this picture. Or 100 year old little woman. Her eyes look angry...

On my way to church ...'Honey, church ain't gonna help you with this problem. If anything, it's gonna hinder you the minute you walk into the fellowship hall and smell what's being prepared for the Easter luncheon.' I'm pretty sure this is the day I officially fell off the Weight Watchers wagon.

My "Aha" moment at age 40. Sixteen diets later, a membership at the Y, tennis team captain, and power walker extraordinaire. The moment you realize, "I've had these thighs my whole life."
And then you just laugh at what a fool you've been. And celebrate with some ice cream.



I love the look on Mr. Wonderful's face.
"Yo, dat's my woman. Don't talk about her thighs like that."










Monday, March 29, 2010

"Better Than Sex Cake?"...

This weekend I was inspired. Our good friends came down to visit and celebrate their 1st Wedding Anniversary with us. I knew I needed to do something very special in honor of these love birds. I racked my brain for at least 5 minutes... That's when I remembered an old recipe I had tucked away years ago from my dear Aunt Ann. Her "Better Than Sex?" recipe...What better time than now to try it?

The cake was delicious. It has layers and layers of sinful goodness which we all enthusiastically gobbled down. What I didn't realize was that it also held secret magical powers...



See for yourself.
Um, Why is Mr. Wonderful's leg... there?...Why is our friend enjoying it so much?

And then there's this. A picture is worth a thousand words...Would'nt you agree?




Thanks Aunt Ann. For a really great weekend...
P.S. I've added this recipe under the Church Food page...hurry...



Here's to anniversaries, and marriage, and LOVE...and cake.



Saturday, March 27, 2010

Important Update! Please Read...

A vicious rumor has been spreading like wildfire and it needs to stop. I have no idea how it started...*wink,wink*

What, what, WHAT?? you ask...These fine people (*see featured photo above) DO NOT stay in their pajamas all day as had been previously reported. They shower, they dress, they have lives. They wisely, after having their lives threatened, follow this blog.

So, stop the madness and get your facts straight people. :) P.S. If you know of any other dirt pass it my way, would ya?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Today I Feel Sad...

"Why", you ask, "do you feel sad?"

"Oh, no reason." I say, gazing off into the distance.



"What's wrong?" you question, a slight touch of irritation creeping into your voice.

"Nothing", I reply, with a dramatic slump of the shoulder.



"Okay". You sigh, and turn to walk away.

"Well I'll tell you if really want to know..."





"God help me", you murmur under your breath.





I feel sad because certain people...MY PARENTS...haven't signed up to follow me on this blankety-blank blog. They know I'm in a contest to see how many suckers...I mean, folks... I can get to follow me. If I can't get people like these, they're still in their pajamas for gosh sakes! then who?



Not my oldest daughter and her boyfriend who thinks he's a duck. I'm glad she's happy about it, 'cuz personally I'm a little concerned.

Not even my nephews. Yes they are a tad bit young, but you know what? They can READ, therefore they can follow. Otherwise, what's the point of all that birthday money I've given them over the years?


But here's the real disappointment...their father. A man who wears a curly gray wig and Elton John sunglasses can't even find it in his busy day to perform one small act of kindess for his wife's sister. *Sob* After all I've done for you, giving you advice when you didn't even ask for it...well, no more Mister!




I hate to even mention these two. After all, I just met them. Yesterday. (not really, but it feels that way. That's the beauty of love. And the fact that we live 6 hours away. ) But still. You'd think they would want to support the new wife...traitors. Child and Nephew of Mr. Wonderful, meet the Wicked Stepmother.

This last picture pretty much sums it up... People who don't follow this blog are hineys...from the Peach state. There, I said it. And it feels goooood! As for my faithful 12 followers, as soon as I win the lottery I AM going to share it with you. I love you.










Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Why??

Yesterday, after Elmo, I decided to indulge in a little light reading before donning my cape and tights and dashing out to save the world.





BIG MISTAKE...see for yourself.





Lured in by the question we've all been asking,




I innocently opened the magazine which, by the way came to my mailbox unsolicited.

Suspicious, don't you agree? I have no idea how it got there or why, but I do know I wanted to know "How much more can she take??"



And then I saw this:



I know. EEWWWW!!! No wonder they're having to sneak this disturbing piece of...of... creepy weirdness into the lives of the unsuspecting!
Needless to say I had to remain in my pink robe and lay down for a while. No cape, no tights, just a gentle rocking back and forth...




I need my Elmo...

P.S. Elizabeth Edwards seems to be doing well, and according to her sister, she and John had a marriage full of love and respect until John failed. Just so you know.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Just Another Manic Monday...oh, yeah, it's Tuesday already

Why am I watching Elmo? Duh. 'cuz he's adorable. Anyway, I'm learning about tadpoles turning into frogs. Good Morning Friends!


A peek into the tremendously busy morning of this middle-aged wisp of a girl... Frightening isn't it?

Aha! And herein lies the problem: I am not human until the magic elixer has been brewed and inhaled. Then I become sheer genius, wonder woman minus the cape and tights, although I am considering adding those elements to complete the look...


Why are you giving me a look like you don't believe me? About turning into Wonder Woman and taking on complex algebra problems and other world events of huge significance?
You probably don't even believe me about the cape and tights!
*gasp!* I want my Elmo...

Friday, March 19, 2010

No, I'm Not Kidding, I Live Here

Can you believe I live here? I live in a storybook.
Disneyland Schmisneyland...Fairhope Alabama, the land of magic and flowers and princesses. Who knew?
The local park where I go and picnic, and frolic, and It's free! I fed the ducks there once. But they ganged up on me and tried to peck my eyes out so I don't do that anymore. (Not really. But one did waddle over and quack quite vigorously.)

Emily and I headed to the annual Arts and Crafts show today. We got distracted mid-way through our stroll by the smell of something delicious...


We agreed that this was the cutest booth of all...we loved it! Price tag for this little beauty? $850.00 big ones! What the??


Ahhh!... good ol' fair food! Corn dogs, funnel cakes, and pork rinds...



Imagine-200,000 people stampeding the corn dog stand. You don't mess with hungry southern people who smell fried food of any kind. Mama's gonna git her funnel cake.

Happy tummy's = Happy princesses.





Thursday, March 18, 2010

My Daily Confessional...

Can I tell you something...just between you and me? Promise you won't tell?

Good, I need to rid myself of this guilt.


Notice that my cute, adorable, precious cottage is being carefully painted by Mr. Wonderful himself?



Two hours later...He's still painting... and naively assuming I'm out back doing something helpful, like putting on primer, or mowing the grass...or composting for our organic garden...(okay the last two are just pure fantasy, but you understand, he's hopeful like that) Well,......


THIS is where I really was.
Inside. In the kitchen.

I know. It's wrong and bad and I'll never do it again. EVER.

Shhhhh....
Thanks for listening. I feel better now.


Sunday, March 14, 2010

All You Need Is A Little Faith...

FROM THIS...

TO THIS!


FROM THIS...(this seed is just weird lookin')

TO THIS!



Just think, the seeds did nothing. But lay there. They allowed dirt to be thrown on top of them, rain to soak them, cold winds to blow down, and the warm sun to heat them. Then a miracle happened! God used the very circumstance they were placed in to bring about great beauty.




"Never, never, never, never, give up!"
Winston Churchill


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I Need Your Help!


Decisions, decisions...I can't decide what to do...tell me please! Go ahead, boss me around, I like it!

Ok, first of all, should I stop drinking straight from the paper bag? Yes or No?



And now the real question....
Should I paint my family room CORAL?





Leave a comment, I'm going with popular opinion. I'm old and feeble and can no longer think for myself...Thanks in advance!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Birthday Extravaganza!




This is where we went for my Birthday. It was my choice. Why? Because it's a dive, and I'm prone to favor dirty little hole-in- the-wall places? Good guess, but no. Because I thought it was an Antique shop? Another good guess, but no. Because it's been featured on Food Network? Yeessss, my pretties. I'm easily swayed.
Notice the HACKSAW hanging directly above my head. The dusty bear head glaring...Come to think of it, the whole place needed a good lemon Pledge wipe down.
But, the burgers! Oh, them burgers was gooood!!
Grilled onions, fried, with a little shiny grease on the buns...that's why I went. How else do you expect me to maintain this girlish figure?