Sand and Stars and Faith...

"And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore..." Hebrews 11:12

I went to the beach yesterday, and as I lay there soaking up the rays I took a small handful of sand and watched as it sifted through my fingers. And God reminded me of this verse. Staring at each grain of sand I thought of how faith works and how great God is. He's always taking the smallest thing and multiplying it, making it more and better and bigger than we ever could on our own.

By Faith.

"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

"Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. " Isaiah 40:26

How great is our God!

He's got you. He's numbered every hair on your head, and he's got you. Whatever you are going through today, have some faith. Give the problem, the situation, the mountain , the impossiblity to Him and then relax.

"I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong-that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith." Romans 1:11,12

From our beach to yours, with love.

My Sister Tried To Kill Me

Shocking, isn't it?! My very own sister, the one I've raised since I was five years old, tried to kill me last night.

She'd given me this... 'Yoo-hoo, big sister, love of my life, I have something special for you. I think you'll really, really like it.'
I should have noticed the demonic glint in her eye.

Something so evil my camera refused to take it.




Unable to focus, my camera strained and groaned with fright...
But I forced it.
I plan on putting the evidence in a safe deposit box as soon as I spread the news to my faithful readership. Of five. Dear Readers, you're always on my mind...(hold on, I suddenly need to sing the Willie Nelson song as loud as I can. Give a dying woman her last wish, will ya? Maybe I didn't hold you as often as I should have, maybe I didn't, whatever, I don't remember the words, hum, hum, humming, but you were always on my mind, you were always on my miiinnnddd.)


Ta-da! Here it is...the hideous plot revealed. Finally. (stupid camera. cheap piece of ****)

DEATH BY CHOCOLATE!!!!!
A recipe so good, so rich, so insanely delicious that it almost worked.

But my sister underestimates me. She forgot that I have a higher sugar tolerance than most, built up by years of candyoholism. Fool. It will take more than this to send me into a diabetic coma.

Unfortunately the friends I served it to last night weren't so lucky. One bite and they dropped dead. Oh, well. That'll teach 'em. To stop drinking only diet coke and eating low fat, sugar free lettuce.

Death By Chocolate. Not a bad way to go.

*If you're feeling iffy today I've posted the recipe under "Church Food". Send yourself to heaven and call it a day.

Is This Who I Think It Is??

Is this man, the one I happened to be married to, who allows me against his will to publish his private photos... is this man actually a famous tennis professional?

Because if he is, he's got some 'splainin to do. As in, where's all the money dude? Not to mention the private jet, penthouse in New York, and fabulous trips around the world.
.
He says it's not true. He says he's just a simple country boy who just happens to own a visor and a tennis racket. (Wait! Is that a badminton racket? Well then. Surely only a famous tennis professional could have the skillz necessary to play with such an instrument.)

Hmmmmm... suspicious! Veddy, veddy suspicious!

Fact: Both are left handed

Fact:Both are sitting down

Fact:Both are fawned over by beautiful women everywhere.

Oh, the life of a sports professional.

I've Decided To Become Famous

"Cutty Thorny"...a portrait in blue...

Just yesterday. I woke up and rose from the bed (after great effort I might add. It ain't easy sleeping in a sink hole) and decided right then and there to BECOME FAMOUS. So get ready.

But first there are a few details I need to take care of. First and foremost I'll have to change my name to something more interesting. My sister reminded me that I'd chosen to change my name in first grade to "Cutty" and then in second grade I went with the more trendy "Thorny", so why not "Cutty Thorny" for a first and middle name? I don't know. They seem so elementary now. So first grade, second grade, know what I mean?

My friends have made suggestions. "Fierocia Numette" "Princess Consuela Bananahammock" "Magilla-Cutty" and the elusive "Yamayda Pew". I like them all, I really do. I'll have to pray about it and then decide.

Since I've made peace with my thighs and am willing to purchase the Lifestyle Lift, an amazing 8 hour miracle that promises to make me look twelve again, nothing seems to be standing in my way.

Other than the name change I'm pretty much good to go. Mr. Wonderful wasn't so keen on the fame thing until I told him he could be the "rich" part...Rich and Famous. So now he's all in.

It feels good to make decisions and get something accomplished. You should try it sometime.