Help! I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up!

  Dark and  mysterious...what does it all mean? And why is there a neon light involved? Am I having an 80's flashback? These are the questions you're asking yourself.

No I'm not.

Yes you are.

No.

Yes.

Nooooo...

Whatever.

Aha! A clue! Yes, friends this is a skating rink. A rink so old, so dank and dark  I thought it resembled the bowels of hell. Plus, the floor was bumpy. Floors in skating rinks should not be 'bumpy'.  It makes it difficult to twirl. I'm all about the twirling.

Not.

See this man? This man is so much more than "just a man." He's a roller skater extraordinaire! He's poetry on skates, a ballet dancer on wheels. He's cool, he's smooth, he's FLASHDANCE and FOOTLOOSE all rolled into one. He is Skatecity.

C'mon, he says...It's easy. Nothing to it. It's FUN!

Lies. All lies, and he looked me right in the eye when he said it.

 

An innocent lamb led to the slaughter. Look at that face! So full of hopes and dreams...

What an idiot.

Two SECONDS later. That's how long I skated. It's hard for me to remember if it was fun or not. I didn't enjoy the "my life is flashing before my eyes part", but other than that I'm pretty sure I had a blast.

This is the last picture. I took it from the ground, whilst laying down.

 She remained upright at all times, all smiles and laughter.

Showoff. 

Mr. Skatecity couldn't even look at me, so deep was his disgust.

Or maybe it's that I requested the song "Dancing Queen" right in the middle of his leg lift, double axel, roller derby splits move.  It doesn't matter. Because let's face it, this activity has been ruled out as a shared life passion. Maybe we'll take up weeding together.

Take My Picture Already, Would Ya?

Brooke and I went to tea today. The tearoom was lovely, and I wanted to memorialize this moment for all time. I pulled out my trusty, cheap piece of Kodak Easy Share and held it up...

Say Tea!...No good. Let's do it again.

Say, Tea!...Uh, Brooke apparently you have a lazy eye. Funny, I've never noticed it before... Again.

Say Tea! Brooke...wow. Did you know that you're crosseyed? Or high. Or drunk. Honey, it's only 10am.

Again...*I know, I'll catch her by suprise, then she'll for sure have that wide-eyed bambi look...Mama's are so smart.

SAY TEA!... Good Lord...

Let ME show you how to do it...See? It's easy. Now, OPEN YOUR EYES AND SAY TEA!

Awww. Such a pretty girl...

*through gritted teeth* I hate you mom.

I know honey, I know.

Just Kidding! We love each other so much and had so much fun! Tea was DELIGHTFUL!

Brooke, age 2

Awww...such a pretty girl!

Pondering Tuesday...Where's My Job?

I Was A Fifth Grade Prom Queen

And Other Lies I Tell Myself.

Fifth grade was my best year ever. Which is kind of bad when you're 44 years old. That means I had my best year 34 years ago... At least I had one.

 I feel the need to share it with you. Because that's what we do. We share.  So here goes:

THE TOP TEN BEST THINGS ABOUT MY 5TH GRADE YEAR, AKA LIFE...

1. Jaunita...'nuff said.
2. Mr. Terbush. He was my teacher and I was madly in love with him. He was handsome and played the guitar and most important I was his favorite student in the whole world....Trust me, I  know these things.
3. I almost won the "princess" of our class contest. There was a tie between me and Angelina, and I graciously allowed her to have it. I humbly said, 'You darling, you be Princess.' Actually I couldn't face knowing I lost if I would've lost...so now I'll never know, and I'm at peace. It was a good call.
4. I received a couple of love poems from Richard, a short round boy who wore glasses. He was very sweet, and I was flattered.
5. Tim, the red-head  liked me. He was taller, so I liked him back.
6. I got to be crossing-guard at recess. A dream come true. It included a bright orange vest, an orange stick, and power. I took it very seriously.  I wish I still had the stick.
7. Mr. Terbush. I'm sorry, but he deserves to be on here twice. He was after all the first love of my life. I hated the weekends...I LOVE YOU MR. TERBUSH! WILL YOU MARRY ME?
8. Bobby, who I played 'foursquare' with everyday. And then I told him I liked him. And he looked horrified and said something like "ew, gross!" Oh, well.  Tim the redhead knew a good thing when he saw one.
9. I made a conservation poster and won an 'honorable mention' ribbon. I was thrilled.  Little did  I know I should have polyurethaned it and super-glued it to my body, permanently. This was before I clued in to the fact I wasn't crafty. Or artsy. Or musical.
10. I had to get glasses. And I tried my hardest to fail the hearing test, but my hearing proved fine. Bummer! What could possibly be more awesome? Glasses AND a hearing aid...

Yep, Fifth grade. I could still spit water through the gap in my front teeth. I told ya I was a prom queen!