Interview With A Vampire...aka Bored College Kid

Are we having fun yet?

I thought it would be fun to interview my middle child while she's here living with me. Before she heads back to the cold cruel world that is Lee University.

I drug out the handy karaoke machine and proceeded.

Me: Tapping the microphone...Hello? hello?...
Daughter: Tries to grab microphone out of my hand. Always grabbing for the spotlight, I tell ya...


Question: Why are you here at my house?
Answer: Because England kicked me out. I have nowhere else to go.


Question: How do you feel about that?
Answer: Angry


Question: And Bitter?
Answer: Yes.



Question: Are you always so talkative?
Answer: shrug...


Question: Are you glad I'm your Mother?
Answer: No comment. (Psychotic laughter)



Question: What are you planning on doing this summer?
Answer: Making money and entertaining myself. Wait...that sounds weird.



Question: Are you bored living here with your Mother?
Answer: No comment. (Psychotic laughter...again.)



Question: What do you want to do with your life?
Answer: Be a missionary. (Or stay here and live and clean and cook for my Mother....she's staring off into space now. She seems shut down.)



Question: What's your favorite food?
Answer: Bread.



Question: Do you want to get your picture taken in the little hole under the bridge?
Answer: No. (She means of course I do! That would be hilarious!)



Question: Any other thoughts?
Answer: That only killed 10 minutes. What are we gonna do now?


Question: Do you think you have ADD?
Answer: Me?



Question: Yes, you. (who else am I interviewing? Bright college kid, this one.)
Answer: I don''t. But my mom does.



Question: Who's your mom?
Answer: LisaJohnsOristStephens



Question: How does that make you feel?
Answer: Please, help.



Question: Huh? You wish you had more last names?
Answer: Huh?



The interviewee has left the room...Wow.

I now appreciate what Oprah's had to put up with all these years.