Unmarketable Talents

It's truly amazing the talent my family has. From the youngest to the oldest, we are LADEN ( love using big words) with completely unmarketable skills. I feel we are almost blessed with more than our fair share.

I said ALMOST. Otherwise the annual Fourth of July talent show would be a bust.

HERE'S THE LIST OF OUR FAMOUS TOP TEN:

1. My sister can instantly recognize celebrity voice overs. She just closes her eyes, and voila! she knows who it is.





2. My father can play the trumpet without a trumpet. He uses his very own lips to create the sounds-like quality of a small kazoo.





3. My husband is multi-talented, however because I hate to brag I'll list just two. He can wiggle not just his ears, but his entire face on command. So special. He also recognizes patterns like nobody's business. (I really don't even know what 'recognizes patterns' means. But I'm taking his word for it that it's totally cool.)





4. My niece can twist her fingers into alien hands. A skill I proudly taught her. She's now a child prodigy, making her teachers swoon.





5. My youngest daughter creates the 'duck lip' model pout whenever the mood strikes her. It's awesome.





6. I myself can bend my hand down and touch my arm, making me look like I have a nub. I know...it's DEFINITELY awesome and a little nauseating.





7. My mother pretends she speaks Vietnamese and tries to talk to the nail tech ladies. For real.





8. My oldest nephew contorts his body into unrecognizable dance moves and displays them at all important events.





9. My middle daughter does the same thing. Unrecognizable dance moves. Two in one family. That's why I said it's almost more than our fair share. ALMOST.





10. My brother-in-law can ribbon dance like nobody's business. He's poetry in motion.

These are but just a few of our skills. Don't be jealous. I'm sure you've got talents too.

You can officially try out for our annual July 4th talent show if you'd like.

Besides the $1000.00 entry fee, (I do accept cash or checks, made payable directly to me. shhhh, let's keep this on the down low.) the bar has been set very high, so bring your best.