Sunday, September 12, 2010

Outside? What's That? Never Heard of It...

Welcome to Hell

I haven't exercised in over two weeks. Shocking!!, but true. I haven't seen sunlight. With only the dim flicker of the television and the half naked people on Dancing with the Stars to keep me going, its been  a long month.  Let me explain.
Period. The end.
I knew you'd understand.
Yes, it was warm in June, toasty in July, and scorching in August. Still I walked, being the faithful fitness chubby guru that I am.  But those were the summer months when it all made sense. Now it's September. The air should have a crispness about it. I should be developing a taste for apple cider and strolls in the country, waving friendly-like at my neighbors.I should be preparing to don my freshly polished skates and heading to the local pond which should be almost frozen over by now. And because I don't know how to iceskate, I'd break through and almost drowned and a big ta-doo would be made. Plus, I'd be burning lots of calories.
 Instead I've got visions of flies and cold gatorade dancing in my head. While sweat trickles down by face.
And that's sitting inside my house.
 I am eating animal crackers, which are very low in sugar, and I'm watching tennis. That counts for something.