Are we having fun yet?
I thought it would be fun to interview my middle child while she's here living with me. Before she heads back to the cold cruel world that is Lee University.
I drug out the handy karaoke machine and proceeded.
Me: Tapping the microphone...Hello? hello?...
Daughter: Tries to grab microphone out of my hand. Always grabbing for the spotlight, I tell ya...
Question: Why are you here at my house?
Answer: Because England kicked me out. I have nowhere else to go.
Question: How do you feel about that?
Question: And Bitter?
Question: Are you always so talkative?
Question: Are you glad I'm your Mother?
Answer: No comment. (Psychotic laughter)
Question: What are you planning on doing this summer?
Answer: Making money and entertaining myself. Wait...that sounds weird.
Question: Are you bored living here with your Mother?
Answer: No comment. (Psychotic laughter...again.)
Question: What do you want to do with your life?
Answer: Be a missionary. (Or stay here and live and clean and cook for my Mother....she's staring off into space now. She seems shut down.)
Question: What's your favorite food?
Question: Do you want to get your picture taken in the little hole under the bridge?
Answer: No. (She means of course I do! That would be hilarious!)
Question: Any other thoughts?
Answer: That only killed 10 minutes. What are we gonna do now?
Question: Do you think you have ADD?
Question: Yes, you. (who else am I interviewing? Bright college kid, this one.)
Answer: I don''t. But my mom does.
Question: Who's your mom?
Question: How does that make you feel?
Answer: Please, help.
Question: Huh? You wish you had more last names?
The interviewee has left the room...Wow.
I now appreciate what Oprah's had to put up with all these years.