Thursday, November 4, 2010


Today I had one of  the most satisfying experiences of my life.  It was so great. It brings a smile of contentment to my face just thinking about it.

What?! what?? wwhhhhaaaatttt?????
Why, is that 'breathless anticipation' I hear?  I love breathless anticipation.

Since you're about to burst, and YOU CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, I'm gonna tell you.

I witnessed a skinny bird-boned man unable to stop himself from pigging out on dessert. He stuffed his face until his belly hurt, shrieking 'what did you put in this stuff? Meth?' And then he went to get himself another piece.  Yes, folks, that man would be the naturally thin, non emotional eater, known as Mr. Wonderful. Before today that is.  Now, he's simply known as 'Potentially Chubby." My life is complete. I made the pumpkin ooey-gooey cake, from Ms. Paula Deen herself, and now that I know the power it contains, nothing can stop me! I shall rule my Chubby Empire!! (psycho laughter is completely appropriate at this point).

Oh, yeah, the other great and satisfying thing that happened was that I got mulch. Lots and lots of mulch put in the front yard, in the big, dry, plantless garden bed. It looks teriffic! Instead of lazy, no-good neighbors,  we  look like responsible homeowners. To reiterate, Nothing can stop me now! I'm aware of the fact that Mr. Wonderful burned many, many calories while putting in the mulch...Do you take me for a fool?  I promptly rewarded him with another hearty piece of ooey-gooey. He wolfed it down, and whimpered, 'More?'

 Real Men Mulch...and then bring their wives a bunch of wild flowers....Isn't that sweet?!
'Oh, darling, have another piece of ooey-gooey'...