Saturday, April 10, 2010

Middle Age Isn't For Sissies

Folks, I ain't just whistling dixie...Middle Age can be tough.

First, there were the wrinkles around the eyes. These I could deal with. After all, they were kinda cute and friendly-like.

Next came the gray hair. Pretty? No. Annoying? Yes. It ages you instantly. I went from teenager to cackly old woman in the blink of an eye. And it's the reason I had to take a part-time job. Just paying to keep my roots colored every four weeks was enough to make a grown woman cry.

The mid-life divorce kicked my you-know-what. But, with God and prayer, and a special concoction of ibuprofen and benadryl I made it through.

Empty nest. Oh, this wasn't good. Lots of wailing and moaning and moping, and rocking, screaming what's my purpose? Then, the lightbulb went off. I breathlessly told Mr. Wonderful we should have a child together. I did quick math using all my fingers and toes, then grabbed the calculator. Why, he'd only be 80 when our child got married! He went catatonic on me. I figured we'd talk about it later.

But, then...

This is what I saw in the mirror. This morning.

It was my turn to go catatonic.

I knew the moment I saw "it" my dreams had been shattered. After all, no one knows for sure how a human baby raised by a turkey turns out.

I see only two options:

1. Serve myself for Thanksgiving this Fall, saving alot of money and time in the kitchen.

2. Become a Nancy Pelosi look-alike.

Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.


Charlene said...

Oh - I feel your pain. Just a few days ago I noticed with despair what they call in the eye cream commercials "creepiness."

It's not easy getting old - but better than not getting the chance!

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Linda said...

Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog. Yea I've reached 40 something have the friendly wrinkles, grey-ish roots and one out of 6 kiddos that have left the nest. Sigh.

Love your blog too. Let's be friends.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I can see most of your days are filled with taking or finding the most hilarious pictures. So happy you've found a purpose,sister. :)

reasonably chubby said...

Hey Linda and Charlene-thanks for visiting! And thanks for leaving comments, I'l be sure to add both your names to my "when I win the lottery" endowment fund. I enjoyed reading both of your blogs. Hope you have a great monday!