Monday, June 7, 2010

I'm Now Available For Speaking Engagements

You think I'm kidding? I am so not kidding. I'm a speaker now...Ahem,...(clearing of the throat. I do that alot ever since the 'cream cheese' contest. I don't know if I'll ever be the same.)

 Grand and Glorious Topics of Inspiration:

1. How to survive your divorce and come out stronger, SEXIER, and happier than you ever thought possible!

Gosh, that's an ugly picture...But  it does inspire.  Dear Lord, if she can do it, so can I!
I mean, if that ain't sexy, I don't what is.

2. How to meet the man of your dreams. In three easy payments.
Need I say more?

3. Dare is always somepin' to be DANKFUL for, you gots to open yo' eyes chile!
 Alligator-On-A-Stick  brings out the preacher in me.

And last, but not the very last

4. You are full of potential!
Look at this small acorn. You would never know just by looking at it all the beauty it contains.  Have some faith, and trust God with every area your life...

5. Because Great Things Come From Little Things.

I have spoken. It is so.

Public speaking isn't scary at all. I just did it, and it was no problemo.

I bet learning Portugese isn't that hard either...


See Mom Smile said...

If I am ever in charge of anything that needs a speaker, you are at the top of my list. I don't mind speaking in public either. I guess it scares the poop out of most people.

Lisa said...

Hey! My son just learned Portuguese in about two months time for his LDS mission to Brazil. Out of small and simple comes that which is great! Like whoda thunk that such a small bag of licorice every day could add up to such an enormous abdomen. Miraculous.:)

ethelmaepotter! said...


The one that got me was the alligator on a stick! And near the bottom of the photo - LINE 1 and LINE 2! Is the stuff so popular that patrons must devide into two separate lines?

Allyson & Jere said...

Hilarious pictures and post. I think you'd be a stellar public speaker for sure.