Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My Sister Tried To Kill Me

Shocking, isn't it?! My very own sister, the one I've raised since I was five years old, tried to kill me last night.

She'd given me this... 'Yoo-hoo, big sister, love of my life, I have something special for you. I think you'll really, really like it.'
I should have noticed the demonic glint in her eye.

Something so evil my camera refused to take it.

Unable to focus, my camera strained and groaned with fright...
But I forced it.
I plan on putting the evidence in a safe deposit box as soon as I spread the news to my faithful readership. Of five. Dear Readers, you're always on my mind...(hold on, I suddenly need to sing the Willie Nelson song as loud as I can. Give a dying woman her last wish, will ya? Maybe I didn't hold you as often as I should have, maybe I didn't, whatever, I don't remember the words, hum, hum, humming, but you were always on my mind, you were always on my miiinnnddd.)

Ta-da! Here it is...the hideous plot revealed. Finally. (stupid camera. cheap piece of ****)

A recipe so good, so rich, so insanely delicious that it almost worked.
But my sister underestimates me. She forgot that I have a higher sugar tolerance than most, built up by years of candyoholism. Fool. It will take more than this to send me into a diabetic coma.

Unfortunately the friends I served it to last night weren't so lucky. One bite and they dropped dead. Oh, well. That'll teach 'em. To stop drinking only diet coke and eating low fat, sugar free lettuce.

Death By Chocolate. Not a bad way to go.
*If you're feeling iffy today I've posted the recipe under "Church Food". Send yourself to heaven and call it a day.


See Mom Smile said...

There is no more honorable way to die...:)

Ashleigh said...

Yum. I need me some chocolate.

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

Hey................ isn't Cool Whip like a diet food or something? Don't go trying to pull a fast one on us!