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Monday, August 22, 2011

Here kitty, kitty...



*Disclaimer:This picture was taken in our happy days, before my visit...
and I might add, before I lost 20 pounds. Whatever.



I'm flying to Colorado Springs, CO to visit my oldest daughter this week. Not only am I thrilled to leave the hot, oppressive heat of the humid South and fly to the cool, clear air of the Rocky Mountains,  I've promised to come by airplane instead of by broom...this time. (Muwahahahaha!! Psycho laughter fills the dark sky)

This promise of cool mountain air has so enthralled me that I'd almost forgotten my mission. I almost got swept up in the 'lets-go-to-Breckenridge-and-frolic-with-the-deer' hallmark card moment  until I remembered. The fitted white gloves. I'd purchased them for a visit such as this, and they appeared mysteriously while digging for change in my couch cushions.

"There you are my pretties". I snuggly snapped them onto to each hand and knew it was time. You see, she's moved into her first apartment. And she needs my help. Her desperate cry  has reached my ears and that's why I'm going. In other words, I've seen the pictures.

Through a haze of cat hair, I've faintly been able to make out a couch, a coffee table, a, a, a,a,a,a,a,a,a....that's right folks. There is nothing else to see. She is living in a shell of a place that actually could be called...gasp! Blank! Not-Decorated! UGLY!!!!

My mission is obviously two-fold.
1. Clean and sanitize
2. Make it pretty.
Commercial-strength Lysol in hand, I yodel a good, solid, Goodwill Here I Come!, which is my designated warrioress battle cry and then I bow my head in prayer.

 "Dear Lord, thankyou for giving me purpose", while simultaneously putting the ad on craiglist:

"Free!! TWO pretty little kitty-cats in need of a good home, nasty litter box included..."

Or not.
That part was just a dream.

I'll show you the pictures upon my return. Until then friends, think of me frolicking with the deer, won't you??

P.S. I'll let you know how offended she was by this post when I return.
MUWAHAHAHA!!!!!

2 comments:

red.neck chic said...

I'm laughing so hard...

HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy the cool air - AND harassing your child!!! LOLOLOLOL

;-D robelyn

Alisha Jaybird said...

If Blogger (aka The Devil) lets this post... I have missed the HECK out of you!!!! You are the bomb-diggity! And congrats on the weight loss!! I totally found like 15 lbs of it. Don't worry, though, I'm taking good care of it.